The fridges at the Costco near where I live stopped working, so they had to throw away tons of uncooked meat.
Some lady on Reddit says, “Why not give it to the homeless?”
My first thought: “Lady, if it’s not safe for you to eat, it’s not safe for them to eat!!”
Her comment was nothing but performative empathy.
This is What I Mean By Performative Empathy
When an actor performs on stage, it’s all fake. The emotions, the flair, the backdrop… all fake meant to be taken as real.
This lady’s empathy was fake.
Meat that has been under the required safety temperature shouldn’t be hoisted upon the homeless.
But aside from that, I wondered if this “totally empathetic” lady has ever met a homeless person in her life.
What is a homeless person supposed to do with 15 pounds of raw, uncooked beef?
You know, seeing as they are homeless.
Without a kitchen.
They’re Not Fooling Me
While Reddit might give such a comment a ton of praise, it’s actually not fooling me.
“The homeless” are not a contained group of people in my city. They’re everywhere.
Parks, outside of thrift stores, behind fast food places, by the library, on the streets by the underpass.
Her performative empathy was very… armchair.
Because she didn’t think about how this meat (who had been under the safe temperature requirement, by the way) would be transported and delivered to the homeless. Or even how it would be cooked.
Nice idea. Nice general idea. Nice fluffy inactive useless idea.
I bet she felt nice and warm inside throwing the idea out there, knowing she wouldn’t have to drive a car full of meat, or cut and grill the meat, or even purchase new, safe meat for the homeless to eat.
Real Empathy
Real empathy isn’t sitting on a computer and throwing out bad ideas.
- It’s gathering canned goods and non-perishables for food pantries, churches, and little food libraries.
- It’s buying a warm meal for a specific person who is on the streets.
- It’s noticing when someone looks extra lean or in need and offering them help.
I Saw Real Empathy Early On
As a teenager, I worked at a fast food restaurant. There was a man who would “dumpster dive” for food sometimes.
We were asked by a manager to call the police when we saw him… but I never had the heart to. He really wasn’t hurting anyone.
And there was this man who would bring him inside with him sometimes.
The man, cleanly dressed, would put his arm around the homeless man’s shoulders (who was not so clean, you know). He would tell the homeless man, “Order anything you want. Anything. I’ll pay for it.”
And the homeless man would get one large meal and maybe one extra side.
THAT was empathy. THAT was kindness.
That was wonderful to see as an impressionable teenager.
Today, I help via charities, donations, and on a person-to-person basis.
I honestly don’t approach homeless people because I’m always with my small child, and in my city it’s a gamble whether they are using or sober. Not safe.
But at least I don’t go online and pretend to be so highly empathetic.
Take care,
Dear Quiet
signal.log: 11.06.2026
Tips on Donating Food and Items
- canned goods that last a long time
- items that require only add water (items that require eggs, milk, and or butter are not ideal)
- clothing that is new or nearly new
- diapers are always needed
- underwear for children is always needed too
- deodorant (for men and women) and toiletries (like menstrual pads, adult diapers, etc.)
- Best Tip: ask the specific charity/church what items they need right now. What size clothing, what size diapers, etc. If they would like toys (and what age). If they need formula. Ask, they are happy to answer!
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